By Jason Lim
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In today's hyper-commercialized society, it's easy to lose track of what the original intent of various holidays was. If we were to perform a word association test with everyday folks for Thanksgiving, the words that would pop first in one's mind would be SALE, Black Friday, turkey, fried, stuffing, traffic, crowded airports, family arguments, racist uncle, and the like. Actual gratitude would be far down the list.
But gratitude is what makes the world livable for all of us. Without a sense of gratitude, we will all be entitled, self-centered, and insufferable know-it-all's only looking out for number one. Hey… wait a minute, why am I engaging in self-diagnosis? Never mind.
I think we lose a sense of gratitude because sometimes it's easier to focus on what we don't have instead of what we do have. It's important to take time out and remember all of the things to be thankful for that many of us take for granted.
One, good health. So, the goal post for good health does shift as you get older. Nestled solidly in middle age, good health for me is no longer breaking wooden boards with double roundhouse kicks or running a 12 second 100-yard dash. Good health is getting a sugar level in the low 100's, staying on the good side of the PSA screening, and no polyps during the annual colonoscopy. A week without weight gain is an especially good week, and receding hairline is just an inevitable icing on the cake. But, in a way, it's strangely liberating because health is no longer about the vanity of appearance but has become all about a matter of maintaining the basic plumbing of the human body.
"No pain, no gain," they used to say. "No pain, no pain," I say today.
Two, my parents. As is true of any family, they are dysfunctional and quaint in their set ways. But my parents are of the incredible generation of Koreans who went from horse and buggy (if they were rich enough to afford it) and miserable days of Japanese colonialism and being treated as second class citizens in their own land, through brutal fratricidal war, crushing poverty, and divided families, to face-timing their grandchildren in real time on the iPhone. Now they complain when the phone is "reconnecting" due to a dropped connection. Go figure.
My parents survived and raised us through all that. They might not be the "Greatest Generation," but they certainly are the most resilient generation. We are all literally here because they persevered through incredible odds and unimaginable changes. I am here because of them.
Three, my family. Family is like the air that's invisible and omnipresent that's missed only when it's absent. Then you notice it pretty darn quick because you feel yourself suffocating. It's really the source of the fundamental sense of wellbeing, community, and purpose. It centers you and grounds your life into something tangible and meaningful. True, it requires constant care and attention, especially a head-strong seven-year-old boy who has to think before eventually equivocating on the question, "What do you like better, your Dad or iPad?" But nothing in this world will have a higher return on investment relative to the energy and nurture you put into it.
Four, second chances. We all make mistakes in life. In fact, making mistakes is a part of growing up. I dare say that the biggest and the most meaningful entitlement for the young people is to make mistakes and grow from them. Society stagnates when the cost of making a mistake becomes too high for the young. As long as your mistakes are within the confines of civilized society, taking risks, succeeding, failing, learning, growing and then paying it forward is an essential value chain that tows the whole society forward into a brighter future.
We tell our young people that if they fall, get back up on your feet and try again. But that presupposes a road that's flat and solid. What if the road is steeply slanted and full of deep, hidden potholes? What if the road can only be travelled in a 4x4 that only few can afford? Forget about second chances. What if they are not given a chance to begin with?
I know that I have been given second, third, fourth, and more chances than I can count. Others have not been as lucky. I am grateful for my chances, and I try to repay by giving second chances to others.
Of course, I can't finish without mentioning other things that I am grateful for. These include fast internet connection, AC, electricity, smart phones, indoor plumbing, gas fireplaces, Amazon moving to Crystal City (I think), people who are willing to mentor and teach, a car that works most of the time, snow tires, bosses who don't ask lots of questions and always sign additional funding requests, and more.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Jason Lim (jasonlim@msn.com) is a Washington, D.C.-based expert on innovation, leadership and organizational culture.
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