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Mon, May 29, 2023 | 18:53
Dear Abby
DEAR ABBYWoman will no longer accept relative's abusive behavior
[디어 애비] 사촌의 무례함에 한계에 도달한 여성
Posted : 2022-12-07 10:22
Updated : 2022-12-09 15:43
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[디어 애비로 배우는 생생 영어]

DEAR ABBY: I have a sister in-law, "Karen," no one in my husband's family likes.
애비 선생님께: 저에게는 남편 측 가족 모두가 좋아하지 않는 "캐런"이라는 시누이가 있습니다.


She's rude and insulting and acts like she is better than everyone else.
캐런은 무례하고 모욕적이며, 본인이 다른 사람들보다 나은 듯이 행동합니다.


She feels she's entitled to have family members watch her kids so she can do what she wants. (If you refuse, she drops the kids off at the door.)
캐런은 자신이 원하는 것을 할 수 있도록 가족들이 자신의 아이들을 돌보도록 시킬 자격이 있다고 생각합니다. (만약 아이들을 봐주길 거절하면, 캐런은 자신의 아이들을 문 앞에 던져두고 갑니다.)


If anyone confronts her about her bad behavior, she claims she has anxiety and depression to make the person feel guilty.
누군가 캐런의 못된 행동에 대해 정면으로 맞서면, 캐런은 불안과 우울증이 있다고 주장하며 상대방이 죄책감을 느끼도록 합니다.


Now, I'm not saying she doesn't have these mental health issues, but I believe she uses them to manipulate others.
캐런에게 이런 정신 질환을 없다고 말하는 건 아니지만, 저는 캐런이 자신의 병을 타인을 조종하는 데 사용한다고 생각합니다.


My mother-in-law keeps saying we should "turn the other cheek," but I no longer can, especially when it comes to her insults.
시어머니께서는 저희 모두가 "그냥 참아야" 한다고 계속 말씀하시지만, 저는 더 이상 견딜 수가 없는데, 특히 캐런의 모욕적인 언사가 그렇습니다.


I know many family members will side with her out of sympathy, but I can no longer sit back and accept her verbally abusing me and others with no consequences.
가족 구성원 다수는 동정심 때문에 캐런 편을 들 것이라는 걸 알고 있지만, 캐런이 어떤 대가 없이 저와 가족들에게 언어 폭력을 행사하는 것을 저는 더 이상 지켜보고 있을 수가 없습니다.


I know I need a plan so I won't lose my temper and say something I'll regret, but I'm not sure how to respond in a respectful way.
흥분해서 후회할 말을 하지 않기 위해 계획이 필요한 걸 알지만, 어떻게 하면 공손하게 반응할 수 있을지 확신이 서지 않습니다.


Any ideas? — DOESN'T LIKE CONFLICT IN KENTUCKY
추천하는 방법이 있으신가요? — 갈등을 싫어하는 켄터키 주민


DEAR DOESN'T: Do nothing without first warning your in-laws that you have reached your limit.
갈등을 싫어하는 독자분께: 처가에 독자분이 한계에 다다랐다는 경고를 하기 전까지는 어떤 행동도 하지 마세요.


The next time your sister-in-law is rude and insulting, say calmly, "I don't deserve to be spoken to that way. That's it for me. I'm leaving."
다음 번에 독자분의 시누이가 무례하고 모욕적으로 행동한다면 독자분께서는 차분하게 "저는 그런 식으로 대접을 받을 이유가 없어요. 참을 만큼 참았어요. 이제 그만 할 겁니다"라고 말하세요.


Then do it.
그리고 정말 그렇게 하세요.


Your husband should back you up on this.
독자분의 남편 분은 이 과정에서 독자분을 지지해야 합니다.


And while you're at it, have him and his family determine whether Karen's kids are at risk, and act accordingly.
또한 독자분께서 이를 실행에 옮길 때, 남편분과 가족들이 캐런의 아이들이 위험에 처해있는지 결정하도록 하고, 결과에 따라 적절히 대응하도록 하세요.


Dumping her children on someone's doorstep seems like child abandonment to me.
자신의 아이들을 다른 집 문 앞에 두고 가는 건 저에게는 아동 유기로 보이네요.

12월 5일자 15면

KEY WORDS
■ sister-in-law 시누이
■ rude 무례한
■ insulting 모욕적인
■ be entitled to (~에 대한) 권리가 있다
■ drop A off : A를 내려주다
■ confront (위험한 상황 등에) 정면으로 부딪치다
■ claim 주장하다
■ depression 우울증
■ manipulate 조종하다
■ turn the other cheek (모욕감이나 화를) 애써 참다
■ sympathy 동정, 연민
■ verbally 말로, 구두로
■ abuse 남용하다
■ lose one's temper 화를 내다, 흥분하다
■ respectful 존경심을 보이는, 공손한
■ in-laws 인척
■ back A up: A를 뒷받침하다, 도와주다
■ dump (특히 적절치 않은 곳에 쓰레기 같은 것을) 버리다
■ doorstep 문간
■ child abandonment 아동 유기


Emailywjeon@ktimes.com Article ListMore articles by this reporter
 
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