Veteran matchmaker gives advice for singles

Park Mi-sook

By Jung Min-ho

Here is veteran matchmaker’s tip for singles, who want to marry but struggle – give up finding a perfect love: turning off television soap operas might help.

“It is very natural to want a best possible partner for marriage. But what is different nowadays from the past is people want it to be perfect. I mean perfect in every way,” marriage consulting company Gayeon Director Park Mi-sook said in an interview with The Korea Times. “Many people no longer get impressed with titles like doctors and lawyers. Some people want plastic surgeons over anesthesiologists, while others see not only how much money their partners have but also their parents.”

She said such trend has driven many singles to give up their marriage and get stressed out over it, raising an average age of marriage to around 30 for both men and women.

“If you think about it, however, it is very hard to meet what people call a basic standard at the age of 30 even for those with well-paying jobs,” Park said. “So, in many cases, parents help them financially, but that’s when other problems kick in.”

In Korea, men are expected to arrange housing, while women are responsible for buying furniture. Except for a few with lots of money, many rely on rent, specifically “jeonse.” Jeonse is a unique rental system in which a tenant pays about half the price of the house up front and gets the money back when the contract ends. Many ask for help from their parents.

“As a result, parents wield a great clout over their son or daughter’s wedding, which sometimes creates a tension in the process,” Park said. “In fact, there are many couples who call off their engagements just before the wedding because of meddling parents.”

After seeing numerous cases of success and failure in her 16-year career in the business, Park said people with a generous attitude and a respect towards their partners tend to find their love earlier than others.

“My advice is to find a partner who can make up for qualities you do not have instead of perfect man or woman,” Park said. “To do so, you have to see what is beneath the skin, which does not show on their profiles.”

Giving up your ideal type is not a compromise, Park said. “Maybe it is a good practice for life after wedding, where you have to give up so much more than the wedding itself,” Park noted.

Receiving wedding invitations from couples that you helped is probably the most rewarding moment for the job.

“I still contact some of my old clients that are now married. When I receive letters from them, I feel really achieved. After all, what else is more important than love in life?”