KoreaToday Love for Holland led shy Korean woman to caring Dutchman

By Lee Hyo-sik

Just like many young Korean women in their 20s, An Young-jin loved to travel abroad. In December 1996 before she graduated from university, her passion toward overseas travel landed her in the Netherlands. While in the land of tulips and windmills, An went to a party hosted by her acquaintance and there, met the love of her life, Henny Savenije.

“I fell in love with him at first sight. Later, he told me the same. I always wanted to go to the Netherlands and interact with people there. Falling in love with a man like Henny, who is so caring and knowledgeable about everything, turned my life upside down. It never felt so special in my life,” the 37-year-old An said in an interview with The Korea Times.

They decided to get married in February 1997 and live in the Netherlands. But they soon met with strong opposition from An’s parents. “Particularly, my father was really mad at me. He even came all the way to the Netherlands to forcefully take me home. But I refused to do so. We did not talk to one another the following two years.”

But An continued to try to restore ties with her parents by sending a basket of carnations for their 25th wedding anniversary and making phone calls to them on a regular basis. In early 1999, her parents decided to accept Henny as their son-in-law and came to the Netherlands. An also traveled back to Korea with her two sons and spent a week or so with her family.

“After I came back to the Holland from Korea, I suffered from severe homesickness. I wanted to eat Korean food, hang out with my parents and sister, and meet friends. It is expensive to buy airplane tickets to travel. So, I talked to my husband about moving to Korea. Henny gladly agreed to come back here as he was interested in Korea and other Asian cultures. I was really thankful for that,” An said.

The family moved back to Korea in December 1999 and since then, they have been living in Bangbae-dong, southern Seoul, close to her parents’ house. Savenije became a naturalized Korean citizen in 2007.

“When my husband became Korean, my parents were extremely happy. His parents passed away when he was young. He still has sisters and brothers living in the Netherlands. When I was there, I met with them. But I did not sense a strong family tie between them. It is really fortunate that he thinks of my family as his own,” she said.

An and Savenije are raising two boys, Benjamin, 14 and Alex at 11. They attend regular middle and elementary schools along with Korean students.

“Many people would think that my boys would go to foreign schools here. But it is really expensive to send them there. They do not go to private learning institutes either, unlike many of their peers. Other parents assume that our sons would excel in English and have an advantage in an English test. But to tell the truth, their English is not so good,” An said.

She said her two sons are just like other average Korean teenagers. But they attract a lot of attention from people because of their looks.

Too much attention negative for multicultural families

“Many Korean parents want to know all about my sons. They are really curious about whether my boys speak good English or not because they have a European father. They ask me and my boys a series of personal questions, including my husband’s job. They are annoying and ill-mannered at times,” An said, adding Benjamin and Alex often suffer from stress due to the public’s excessive interest in them.

She stressed that multicultural families should be accepted as essential part of the Korean society. “Many foreigners have come to Korea, married Koreans and reside here permanently. Koreans’ interests in people who look different from them are understandable to some degree. But like an old saying, too much is as bad as too little.”

But An said Korea is increasingly becoming hospitable toward multicultural families and immigrants, noting the government has been doing a good job to support them. “The Korean government has been introducing a range of financial and administrative support programs for multicultural families as many women from China and Southeast Asian counties come and marry Korean men.”

On Sept. 16, the government announced plans to cover the entire cost of child rearing for multicultural families from next year, regardless of their income levels, as the number of children from multicultural families will rise sharply. But Korea still has a long way to go before becoming a truly multicultural, multiracial society, An said. “In reality, Benjamin and Alex are treated fairly well by their Korean peers because their father is white. But those born between Korean men and Southeast Asian women seem to have a harder time in school. The government should focus more on helping immigrants from Asia and their children.”

Diverse social activities

Being a housewife and mother of two boys is only part of An’s life these days. An is working as a reporter for a local cable TV’s program, delivering news on an array of issues related to the household economy. She is also a reporter of a monthly newspaper published by Seocho District Office. Several years ago, she published a book in cooperation with her associates on financial management for the newly married.

Savenije currently works at Kookmin University as a lecturer for English and Educational Psychology. He is a member of the “Hamel Club,” a gathering of Dutch expats here in Korea. He also published a book on Hendrick Hamel, who was shipwrecked on Jeju Island while heading to Japan in 1653, in the Netherlands.