'Go Dutch? Go Korean?'

“What do you say we go Dutch?” This question often complicates the situation in Korea.

Usually the offended are male or older people.

Confucian culture dictates male or older people pick up the tab. It always has.

The phrase “go Dutch” pales in Korea.

Even suggesting it seems arrogant to some people.

Money is not the issue here. Going against the long-held tradition is.

So, most people just go with the flow.

Jung Ji-yong, a reporter from the Hankook Ilbo, shared his trials and tribulations on “going Dutch” in Korea.

Awkwardness dominated.

His question “How about we go Dutch?” made it so.

The reactions varied: “(With a cold composure) I meant to pay for my food.”

(Looking around embarrassed) “Why are you doing this?”

(Offended) “Of course I will chip in.” “(Embarrassed) You know I can’t afford to…”

He knew he would get similar reactions from others.

Meeting people started to scare him. Bad reputation awaited him, in his opinion.

Anyway, he tried the same with people older than him. “I’ll pay for mine.”

The reactions were even worse.

He unwittingly insulted some: “Just keep it (the wallet) in your pocket.”

(With condescending look) “What?”

(With condescending look) “Pay for your Hoobae (younger co-workers) later.”

Nobody let him pay. He gave up.

He didn’t want to upset anyone. He asked himself “Is this the best? Is my effort in vain? Why not go with the flow?”

He concluded maybe “Going Korean” has deeper meaning than burdening someone financially.

It might be interpreted as heart-warming and welcoming gesture, he thought.

At some point, he felt comfortable letting it be.